How could you? I'm certain you knew I hated it here. You wanted to stay here with me on our farm and it made me so angry. Then, you finally brought me back to your home to meet your family and it was just as I hoped. ![]() I made sure to never let you see who I really was. ![]() All my life I've wanted off this farm and you were my ticket out. You were from somewhere a nice, comfortable place that you could return to whenever you wanted. You worked hard like the other farmhands, but you were different. I spotted you the moment you came to live with us. I may be a poor farm girl, Howard, but I'm not stupid. It's cause I understood how lucky I was to have your attention. The reason I kept my eyes to the ground to avoid other men was never to avoid hurting you. the truth is I'm not really a good person. whenever I see others whose lives come easy because. It's an awful feeling like a rot the way it just twists and turns at your insides. I made sure to always be mindful with your heart. Honestly, there was a time I was flattered to have someone as handsome as you pine over me. I just hope things can go back to the way they were before, but I don't see how they could. It wasn't him that I wanted, I know that now. I'm sure you don't want to hear about a stranger satisfying your wife, and I swear it was only once. I feel awful admitting that, but it's the truth. I hate you so much for leaving me here sometimes I hope you die. ![]() Pretend I'm Howard and you say whatever's on your mind. You shouldn't be afraid to tell him how you feel. I'm so afraid of what people might think. I've never spoken about it out loud to anyone. Seems like there's something missing in me that the rest of the world has. I'm worried there may be something really wrong with me, Mitzy. If I snuck out of the house and ended up bringing home another bug or germ, my mother and father would just kill me. You're not comin' down with something, are you?
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